...in this, yet another dissappointing addition to this seemingly vacuous blog, Mr Sloane discusses the reason for his absence - again!! - David Blunkett and how famous persons seem to die in threes...


"...ah, good morning dearhearts! Many heartfelt greetings, warm wishes and salutations I bestow unto you this fine October morn! Yet again it seems far too long since we have been together - you in front of a screen wondering why the fuck I am bothering, and me, sat in front of a screen wondering who the fuck you are to wonder about my innocent, nay naiive, motives...

...I've gone down this route before and, needless to say, I don't think it portrays either of us in the best light now does it..?

Let's just draw a line under it and move on...

...okay? Good...

...so, where was I??? Oh yes, I was bestowing healthy doses of shmaltzy good cheer to you - my faithful readers - before embarking on another rant of bitterness...just to ease you in like...

Several things have happened since I last did one of these...I went to a wedding - which was very nice too...although my attempts at small scale seductions were once again found remiss! (Why oh why..?...next time I shall endeavour not to take my cock out during the birdie song...? Haha! That was a joke - it was on display for the entire evening, lying flaccidly to the left, on my forehead!)...

...there was also the tragic death of Stevo Irwin - whom I had, incidentally, impersonated during my second summer at Camp Easter Seals-West, rolling around with an inflatable, plastic crocodile in the creek while screaming out "She's a real beauty!" in my best Aussie accent...

...A day or so later there was the Richard Hammond incident, which made me think of that old showbiz chesnut of 'The Curse of the Three' - which isn't a Sherlock Holmes mystery but is a tenuous theory that celebs seem to pop off in threes...(I think this was born out in the 80s when Tommy Cooper, Eric Morcambe and someone else...Dustin Gee? all snuffed their wicks in the same week, thus allowing the spectre of Ben Elton the take over the BBC)...

...I was avidly waiting for the Hamster to snuff it, keeping the tv tuned to news 24 hoping to hear of some other sleb to bite the dust - Jodie Marsh..? That twat out of Boyzone..?...But then there was news that Hammond was recovering and the theory crumbled like the pile of nonsense that it is...superstition and claptrap...

...I am glad that Hammond is alright though...

...Oh yes, that beardy tosser Blunkett is back in the spotlight again with his new poorly written autobiography written with the aid of his dog, imaginatively entitled, 'Blunkett'...( I may be wrong here - but I really couldn't give two hoots!)...Luckily for those of us who wouldn't go near such a piece of shameless self-pitying garbage, excerpts have been published in that well-known socialist rag the daily mail...What larks!

...Incidentally I have recently experimented with the remarkable new technology called a video camera - spurred on by the mighty chinless wonder, Cameron, and cockney gut-bucket Ray Winstone - I have one very unremarkable post on YOUTUBE and am having difficulty uploading message two, in which I am washing up and singing Status Quo...Look for 'LarrySloane' and wonder what the hell is missing from my life...

...I do swear a little bit on it though...

So, all in all, I have been busy doing very little - just like you!

"She's going...she's going..." - Donald Campbell

"Fuck me! She's a beaut!" - Steve Irwin

Take care and sleep well, 'til the next time friend,

Lx"