"Pictures are dead, and the toe is heal-ed..."

In this, the latest instalment of a blog that no-one has ever read, Mr Sloane disscusses a recent trip to an MA show, why pictures are now dead, the exact purpose of myspace and the joy inherent in a scouser's miraculous recovery from a laughable injury...

"Ah...good morning my dear on-line chums!!! How has life been treating you these past weeks??? Well, I trust...

So, it has again been far too long between appointments - blame it on the sunshine and my dull, anti-celebrity, detox, no fucking life-style...I can only bitch about being alone for so long, now...

Today is an exciting day friends, truly...the sun is shining, I had a very satisfying bowel movement - what my old collegues at Camp Easter-seals would call a "Happy Day" - and England are due to play their first game in the world cup in a couple of hours...Yes, to allow oneself to be swallowed up in the media-led hoopla of monkeys wearing red and white, screaming at plasma screens, hugging strangers (then glassing them in the toilet cubicle at half-time) and urinating upon our fair, cobbled streets only comes along once every four years...

And the scouser's toe has apparently healed completely - a miracle comparable to that David Copperfield geezer making the great wall of China dissappear behind a velvet curtain and the time that bearded bloke walked on the water - Hahaha!!! No, not Justin Lee Collins...I'm talking of old man Jesus here folks, wakka-wakka...


Away from all this shit is located the Slade school of art, just around the corner from Euston Station...I went to an exhibition of work by the Ma students and I have come to a simple, nay simple-minded, conclusion...that pictures are dead!

Long live installations made from cheap plywood, super-8 film projected onto white objects and trips to the toilet that are more interesting than most of the exhibits...It is in their honour - these future Goyas, Rembrandts and Vic Reeves's - that I have not included a picture with this blog...Just empty space and a shit one-liner...

...very apt...


...Oh yes...myspace - I realise that it is a very good place to look up people who purposely want you out of their life and to compare yourself with their new, cool & handsome 'on-line' network etc blah...Basically it's a very good way to begin stalking at a distance and to ensure that you never let things go...Myspace sucks cock, folks!! Btw, I now have four friends and a network of 83 million people just waiting to show me their penises via a cheap webcam and msn...Just when I thought life couldn't get any more worthless, along comes another tool to make you think again...

So, until the next time, friend...

"Bathe your feet, comb your hair and get lucky, Dick!" - Henry Kissenger...

Luv etc..."