In the first of many true life, adrenelin-filled and desperately unfunny postings, Mr Lawrence Sloane sets forth his agenda for this blog...


"Here today we find ourselves, dear friends, at a crossroads...Like Robert Johnson and his near mythic deal with the devil - in which he gave his life early in return for 'Terraplane Blues' - or Miss Diane gently rejecting Benny's advances, we stand...wavering...like so many small, withered penises attempting to piss against the wind...

Many truths are preached to us from the media pulpits, from the strongholds of hox-ton and is-ling-ton...

Lap-dogs are this years must-have, beards are back, the super-hold-'I'm a tosser'-hair-gelled-badger-look is so last season. Abby Titmuss held-up as a post-modern feminist icon...jesus...

What we choose to blindly accept is up to us...But, dearhearts, remember that we only need to open our eyes and once more we shall be able to see...

So, what of this 'blog'..?

Technology frightens me, loose clothing in confined public areas terrifies me and alcohol no longer soothes the pain...What else is there but to rant against anything and everything in this here domain? I'm not sure how this is going to work...I don't know how much longer I can avoid getting an eye test...I don't know who, in fact, is ever going to read this - but the real beauty of all this lies in the fact that I couldn't care less...

Haha!

All I can say is that the one person I can think of to blame for this is Mr Ellerby...This is the result of me asking one too many questions, and telling one too many lies.

So, until the next time, to quote love-stud Shaw Taylor, "Keep 'em peeled"..."